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Perfect childhood?

I don’t think there is a perfect childhood out there. Whatever experience we may or may not have transform and makes us be who we are.

I started to ask God a few years ago for deliverance of all that holds me back from experiencing a life of true joy and peace. We all know, things like insecurity, fears, anxieties, anger, etc. God has been faithful to show me a few things.

First, we all have insecurities to one extent or another. Everyone has experienced rejection. It can come in many forms; through divorce of parents, a birth of a sibling, verbal abuse, children picking on other children, change of school, traumatic childhoods, wars, a poor grade, a rejection of a college application, etc. Rejection is part of life.

I created walls to protect myself from rejection. A wall of hardness in which I acted very tough almost without emotions towards certain events or people. Walls of pretense that I didn’t care. Walls of anger, before you get angry at me I would be angry at you. Walls of defensiveness. In reality I was not aware I had those walls.

How did I learn about my walls? First, by asking God to help me and second my taking personal inventory. It is not enough to understand that we are operating out of something “weird” that we may not be able to know what it is.

It is imperative to know where it comes from. I think the biggest project in life is to understand thyself.  I had 14 years of therapy but more than therapy I think I was always eager to learn about myself and what triggered what.

I don’t think we can separate God from our own learning experiences. I think that to look and seek for the truth is important. I will never try to impose my believe on others but there is something about Jesus that is so special that I sometimes have a hard time explaining.

The most important thing is to seek to grow and to be free of what holds us back. Your past should not and will not dictate your future. We are here to live a life of abundance.


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