What does London, Dublin and New York has to do with faith?
True faith is always on the edge of unbelief. I put a small item for sale in ebay trusting that if it sells it, I would have the financial means to visit my family that I haven’t seeing in a few years. They were flying from Brazil and I would fly from USA to Europe. As I previously wrote, it was not a trip I had planned and definitely not the best time to take it. The item sold and I flow to be with my family.
While in London I had an attack of guilty for taking this vacation. What was I doing?
One could blame on the rain. It was raining so hard in London, my family had just left to go back to Dublin where I would join them the next day. I had grown increasingly depressed, bored or just lonely. London can be a great city, but even to extract a simple direction from people in the streets was mind bogging. They were not friendly at all. In previous years throughout my travels people asked me why I live in New York where people are not friendly! Are you kidding? I would answer. I find New Yorkers helpful, open to other cultures and with enviable resilient attitude. I truly love New York.
Since I couldn’t count on the people of London to cheer my Spirits, I resort to faith. I went ahead and rented a city bike in a cold dreary rainy day. I was by Kensington Gardens. The bicycle would bring me freedom from the undergrounds and endless walks. I took the bike out of the rack, hoping by a miracle the rain would stop, at least for a few minutes. In a total turn of events, as if God heard my prayers the skies held the rain back for most of the time I cycled the park, ending my journey in Chelsea. The rain came back almost at the same time I stopped cycling.
I rented the bike in faith trusting that my gloomy mood would be kicked out and the rain would somewhat stop. It did.
As I seat at Clement Pekoe, in Dublin having a great cup of tea (forgive me coffee lovers) my coffee passions are fading away been replaced by tea drinking which can be exuberant. I am reminded that I still get attacked by “guilty” or “worry” for taking this trip. It helps to bring to light I am in a transition. I sold my cafe the source of my income in order to change careers and pursue others things in life. At the moment I work part time and take classes searching for the next step. The retail business was my life for 28 years. My heart is no longer in it. I needed to move on. Nonetheless, I have bills to pay, teenagers to finish raising, an ex-husband to deal with, questions to get answers, among others stay or not to stay in the Suburban -45 min away from NY.
While in Dublin, I am been reminded not only by my family but also by God that I may miss the place of my next step if I attempt to seek to peer too far ahead into the darkness. God does not promise us that we will be able to see more than one step ahead. Beyond that, we may have no way of knowing what waits us.
In that tone I will enjoy this lovely city. Dublin is a very bike friendly town with welcoming people everywhere, a city with small cobblestones streets, endless bridges, cozy cafes in literally ever corner, elderly people mingling with the young, not to mention great looking pubs ( with awesome wood floors) and many beers choices that my aunt seems to be enjoying.
The future is definitely beyond my control and just like renting the bike in London was on the edge of unbelief, so is life in general. It is always my choice to apply faith a midst unbelief. I promised Helen, the lovely girl at Clement Pekoe that I would mention her name. She was the sweatiest friendly young lady helping me choose teas to take back home.
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