bad thoughts bad mouth
I never took the bible seriously and never took the time to read it until back in 2005 I decided to take a pick at it and give it a try. I love to read and I believe it is imperative to grow as an individual. I can’t deny that I end up following in love with it’s stories but most importantly with the practicality of it and it’s wisdom.
I didn’t realize how many times the bible speaks about the power of our words.
In the book of Genesis chapter one verse three it says -Then God said, “Let there be light”. He didn’t make the light. He didn’t wave a stick or wished for light. God didn’t meditate on it. He said “Let there be light” In so many passages God speaks out loud and thinks happens as He says.
Then I began to understand what Proverbs 18:21 says “The tongue can bring death or life; those who love to talk will reap the consequences”.
Last week I read a verse in Romans 12:2 It says: Don’t copy the behaviors and the customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think. then you will learn God’s will for you, which is good and pleasing and perfect.
If God needs to change the way we think it is because what we think is important. Why? Because what we think will manifest itself in our talk and behavior. It all starts with a thought.
If I think negative or get angry I will sooner or later manifest it into my words.
Let me give a practical example of what our thoughts can do. “Tomorrow is St. Patrick’s day parade. Oh forget about it. It will be a terrible traffic going to Manhattan. Tomorrow it will be a waste of time going to work. The whole city will be a mess, etc etc.”
You will talk yourself into not going to work feeling discouraged to go into the city. However, someone else goes and finds out there was no traffic whatsoever and Manhattan was not a mess. Now what happened? Our negative thinking made us feel so bad and discouraged and we acted upon out thoughts.
The same example can be applied to our children. I can still recall many of the negative things people spoke to me or about me as a child. My stepmother always made me believe I would never get anywhere. I always had a very sensitive heart, I was a loving kid and I always took things very serious and bad words went running into my soul. If someone shout at me or made me feel not wanted it would affect me very deeply.
I was fortunate enough to always counter attack her words with a statement “ I will become something” I use to tell myself. But not all people are the same. Most people will repeat in their minds what was told to them and they will grow up and manage to mess their life’s. They will become good at having pity parties, been negative and always blaming others for their misery in an act of justification for their mess..
I am not saying I didn’t grow up having a negative attitude about a lot of things but I was fortunate enough to push forwards in many areas of my life. Nevertheless negative attitude was a big part of my life. Either I would speak bad about others ( making me feel better about myself) or I would just vent all kinds of negative things about life.
We will copy the people we grow up with or we will copy the society we grow up in.
How many times without noticing we plant discouragement and negativity into our children’s hearts with our way of talking. We may say: Well if you stay doing what you doing you will never go anywhere.
We could say “Look, I don’t think it is a good idea what you are doing. I love you and I believe you can do better with your time”.After that, go to the only person that can help you and change the situation “God” and pray what you want. Not to complain, but to ask. “Please Lord guide my son so that your best will come to pass in his life. Place in his heart a passion to read, to work, to be organized, so on and so forth”.
Don’t vent your fears out loud but transform your fears into a positive prayer.
If you are afraid your child will never be neat or organize. Instead of saying “I can’t believe how messy, unorganized you are; Who is going to ever want to marry such a messy girl” We can say: I am not sure where does it come from or why your room is a real mess but I have no trouble believing you will grow up to be very neat person.
Then I will go pray to the Lord: God help my child to grow into a creative, confident person who is rich in mind soul and spirit. Help my child to understand how important it is to be neat. I can’t change her but you can Lord. Teach her to be neat.
It is better to be positive, encourage and uplift our children instead of always magnify their faults. I sinned many times in the past with one of my children. I would tell him over and over “you wet your bed again?” making him feel more ashamed. I should shut my mouth and pray about it or I could tell him you will stop soon don’t worry” without making a big deal all the time with jokes or telling him to not wet his bed again.
It is very important to not give room to the negative thinking and worst yet vent it out to the people we love.
Oh don’t think I am not guilty of doing the same exactly think. The more I thought how terrible it was for my son to spend his time on the computer, the more I nagged him and scream at him the worst things got. The moment I give up to the Lord and say: look your word promises me that you will bless and guide my children. I will trust you will take care of him.
Then I go about uplifting him and telling him how good he is doing, how smart he is. I really like you, I am very confident you will do so great in life. he feels better about himself and the whole energy of the house changes. Did he stop it loving his computer? not yet but God is faithful and I will not stop praying.
Somethings we need to address heads on and ask God for direction but most of it we need to “let God” change it. Pray! Every time a negative thought comes into my mind I rejected saying out loud: God is the one that knows the plans He has for my life and my children. Plans to prosper us and not to harm us.
It is a battle and it is a battle that you can only win if you arm yourself with the word of God.
You need to learn the bible so that you can tattoo his word in your brains and every time something negative comes you can reverse it and say out loud the promises that God gives us. Slowly but surely things will change. Make a habit of thinking positive about your children, speaking to others in a positive way about them (never tell people outside your house “I have a difficult child. I don’t know… he is in a looser path or Ye I have a freak as a kid) don’t ever diminish your children or your loved ones to others. Always say how great they are.
It is a battle and you need to begin to reverse the way you talk about your life and about your children life’s. Did I master it completely? No. but I am confident that just like working out my muscles keep me strong, so does the Lord’s word. The more I read the bible, the more I pray I can stay focus on the good.